Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
