dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
