Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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