He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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