Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
