i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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