i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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