don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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