Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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