now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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