What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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