her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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