She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
