I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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