I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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