just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
