thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
