it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
