I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
