I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he just fucked me for my cheese.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
