I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
