Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
