We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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