Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
