Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
