So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
