the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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