You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
