Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
