I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
