I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
