Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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