honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
