Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
