ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
