i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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