It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
