are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
