Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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