he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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