My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
