i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
