I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
