Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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