Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
