so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
