You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
