He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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