Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I sprained my soul last night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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