dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he thought i was a dude.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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