At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
