I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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