Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
