brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
