i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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